_the Angie fan club_

To make sure you don't find me exceptionally vain and full of myself, I will assuage your nerves and tell you that there is no such thing as 'The Angie Fan Club.' If only some people knew....

You see, I have this not-so-lovely thing in my life I simply refer to as "The Ratio." It seems it is one of my few true discomforts and perhaps my nemesis some days. For a while, it was always, "The RPI Ratio," referring to the lack of girls as opposed to guys at the RPI campus.  It's caused numerous problems. You see, in these situations, girls are quite the commodity, and guys seem to be suddenly interested in whatever girl returns a 'hello' rather than running away. Unfortunately, more often than not, I am "that girl."

If I was a normal girl, which I'm not apparently, I wouldn't care in the slightest. In fact, 'normal' girls delight in attention from guys, usually. Or at least they don't mind so much. I definitely do mind. In fact, it drives me crazy. The last thing on earth I'm looking for right now is any kind of boyfriend. And yet, when I am looking the least, they come out in full force. Now, I fully sympathize with these guys - I couldn't imagine how hard it is to put yourself out there and pick up a conversation with a girl or especially ask her out. I don't mind guys doing that at all. I just really don't like them asking me. Not now, anyway.

I have dropped 'RPI' from the name because it is no longer necessary, unfortunately. I had hoped so desperately to be rid of the stupid ratio and all of it's issues once I left RPI and New York for the summer and traveled back home. It found me. (And there isn't even a ratio here! There are tons of girls!)

Though not as severe, this old friend (or..'frienemy') has caught up with me. I swear, the Ratio must pack itself up in my suitcase whenever I travel. Anyway, I love meeting new people, I really do. Guys are awesome people to get to know. But honestly, give me some space. Just because a girl actually answers your questions does not mean that she wants to reciprocate full undivided attention for the next hour! If there is anything I enjoy about getting to know new people, it's the mystery. I love the intrigue of discovering the bits and pieces that make up a person, what makes them truly unique, truly beautiful in God's eyes and in other's. ....So don't tell me your life story all at once, okay?

I suppose this is some sort of weird preparation for the future. I've been told (and retold and retold by my mom) that this issue will only get worse as I head to Italy. Great...just great. But hey, I've been dealing with it for a few years now. And hey, I've got the best Lover in the world that has my back - God's got something up his sleeves, and I'm stepping forward with him in the strangest sort of service or ministry or lesson I've ever been a part of. If there's one person that can use a bunch of silly crushes on a plain Minnesotan girl to his purposes, it's God.

So, God, I guess I'm trusting you with this. Guard my heart, increase my patience, and ever always increase my love. ...but, just please don't let them get confused what kind of love it is! ;)