So I've been really thinking a lot about/struggling with the whole 'in it not of it' concept recently, the way that Christians are supposed to be in this world, but belonging to another, from another. Yes, that makes us sound like aliens, but in a way we are. If you really look at it, our thinking goes against almost every worldly inclination. Instead of an eye for an eye, we are supposed to give thieves all of our belongings if they take one. Instead of hating those who hurt us, we are called to love. Instead of adorning ourselves with beautiful things outwardly, we are supposed to work on making ourselves more beautiful inwardly.
I've been seeing more of the contrast since I have been here in Italia. But it doesn't mean that I feel very separate. Sometimes it's crazy hard force my brain to stick to what I know, to the truth. It's a heck of a lot easier to listen to the world. For instance, with girls especially, it's easy to believe we are nothing without a boyfriend or without attention from guys. We see that message everywhere. We see a couple holding hands, looking happy. We believe that's what will make us happy too. We see tall, crazy skinny girls being photographed for commercials and ads. We believe that's the way we're supposed to be. We believe we need shiny cars, shiny rings, and giant houses. We need all A's, all good hair days, and shoes for every occasion.
I do enjoy all those things. I get pleasure out of so many things. But pleasure turns to inadequacy when my perspective shifts, and I feel like I need EVERYTHING. And then I feel crappy because I wasn't born a trilingual millionaire with a size 1 dress size and a permanently photoshopped face.
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30 is one of those verses I have to constantly repeat in my head some days.. over and over and over. Most days I really feel the weight of having the opposite be true in our culture. Charming and beautiful women get all the praise. A woman who fears the Lord? Well, she's just crazy.
One band I've been listening to more lately is Zoo Animal, a local MN band with lyrics and honesty I love so much. This song is one of their more known, 'Folded Hand' :
"Some men leave a woman for women / But women want to be a woman / Those men don’t understand / we’ll keep you in our folded hands / we’ll keep you in our folded hands //
Some girls leave a home for a house / But houses want to be a home /Those girls don’t understand / we’ll keep you in our folded hands / we’ll keep you in our folded hands / we’ll keep you in our folded hands.“
I love this song. It's so honest. Men leave a woman for women, but women want so desperately to be someone's woman. They leave their home, their family, the ones that love them, in search for what they think is love, and end up with just an empty house instead of a home, what their heart wanted all along. But how often do we believe that lie? so often! Anyway, I guess I've been confronted with it more here. Maybe it's just the people I see and the people I'm around. But I have to figure out what voices I'm going to listen to: God's or the world's.
Today was refreshing, finally, to be in the park, surrounded by gorgeous families. All of them were unique and dysfunctional and lovely. Kids had cotton candy (zucchero filato) stuck to their faces, and others were pouting about gelato. Parents were juggling diaper bags and cell phones. Laughter and smiles and bikes and rollerblades everywhere. Un-photoshopped. Beautiful. Real.
Now for bed. Soon I will post some of the AMMMAAAAAZING looking recipes I found in the apartment cookbook. It made my life. I'm excited. Probably too excited.
ciao,
~Angie
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