_random amusement_

So this song amuses me a lot. If it came on the radio (okay.. that would probably only happen in Minnesota), you would probably see me dancing or something. Upbeat and generally amusing. And.. partially ignore the video.. I had no idea what was going on at first. The video is actually playing backwards.. hence why they look like dorks :)

_those bad everything days_

So if you talked to me during this past week, I may have been extremely distracted. or a bit fidgety. Or a tad sleepy. Or perhaps I would have seemed completely normal, fooling you despite how bad my week really was. BUT, the fascinating thing was, I don't feel horrible about my week.

We all have those days, when everything goes wrong, when everything compounds and just drives us absolutely crazy. That was my day, especially Thursday. And generally, that was my week.

It started with a failure of a cake. This magical vertical-layered cake I was looking forward to baking. I planned it out, made the fondant one night, the icing the next, and then Sunday night I would bake the layers, construct it, and have it ready for Bible study on Monday. Well, the cake part failed. Quite miserably. I should have known it was a fishy-looking recipe. I know a failure in baking doesn't sound like a big deal, but it kind of is for me. Baking is my stress relief. It's when I get a chance to be creative, resourceful, and do something with my hands that has nothing to do with architecture. And giving it to people and making their day a bit brighter makes my heart happy. ..and 95% of the time, it comes out wonderfully. I'm good at it, just because I've practiced a lot. But this cake, this was a failure. The layers came out to be oily dense pancakes. Gross. .. So I used the ganache for a cupcake creation, which was a success. Victory.

Then came a compounded failure of not getting up early, not going to bed early, and not having time to run in the morning. Yes, again it seems normal, but for me it's a big deal. It's my schedule and my comfort. When I'm diligent and stick to my schedule, I get things done, I'm efficient, I rarely forget things, and I just generally do better. When I mess that up, all the structure falls apart.

Then came the giant setback of having a crit from DBell, my professor, the day before the review. The day before. It was a necessary crit, but really, I would have killed to have it during the weekend. So all of that work I had taken the last 6 days to do, I had to do over plus more in less than 24 hours. So, and all-nighter followed, which was not in the plan. I specifically had planned my entire past week so I would not have to pull an all-nighter.

Then came the day of the review. My plots did not print. When they did, my 22x34 in plots came out to around 3x5 on the giant white page. And I planned ahead and printed at 6:00 am for a 2:00 review. I never got 3 to print correctly, so I posted on 11x17 and pinned up my messy disgrace for a project in the gallery. Later failures included forgetting things in my room, spilling my coffee, breaking my favorite belt, tripping, etc. etc. I thought for sure the day would continue, and this review would go horribly.

Surprise! It didn't. Not in the slightest. My project was chosen as one of the top projects. What I thought was  a disgrace for boards turned out to be not so bad. My so-so drawing was claimed to be one of the best. My project was chosen as one with great potential. .....WHAT?!  .. I most definitely expected that review to go 5000x worse.

Now, the bad stuff didn't stop there. The next day I woke up 15 minutes before a test that I was going to study for more that morning. I forgot my purse somewhere. I left my dorm room door open and unlocked for around 4 hours. I almost couldn't access my dorm building at 11:30 at night. But I'm fine. There was a lot of good stuff in this week, despite all the bad. A huge part of it was God. Yes, I know, it's clichéd but truly, he was the constant in a sea of crazy. I have these truths to hold onto:

''For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you.''  Jeremiah 29:11-13. 


''Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? Luke 12:22-26


I know these are quoted 5 billion times over. But really look at the words. God has plans for you. Specifically tailored to all the good and bad and crazy in your life. That's pretty radical. That means that every little thing is designed for a greater purpose. I'm an archie. I design things. It takes effort to design things. It takes an intense amount of thought and focus and deliberation to truly design. And yet, God designed our lives. Wow. Also.. we can't add hours to our lives. Duh. I know, we try to glop cream to our faces and drink antioxidants to make us look and feel younger, but we physically cannot actually add an hour to our lives. .. So why worry? What does it get us? And the one verse is probably one of my favorite in all of the Bible. ''And how much more valuable you are than birds!'' I know, strange verse to love. But when you look at nature, and the birds and the bees and the bugs.. they are busy, living, and seem pretty fine with their lives. And we stress about so much. I don't think birds stress out. They simply live. God takes care of them. Everything is provided, everything is taken care of. And yet how much more valuable are we. Beautiful. How much more will things be provided for us? How much more should we truly live? So when life is crazy, things are hectic and I just want to sleep rather than face the next failure, I try my hardest to remember that. Because it's true. 


.... And things could always be worse. One song came to mind this week, and honestly made things a lot better. Atmosphere's song, 'Best Day' tells of the worst things happening, yet still living life and working through it. I do not in any way endorse all of this song, but generally I love it, the beat and the perspective of the lyrics. Not all rap has to be crap. 

I had a rough day, but that's life, it happens
Woke up on a dark side of my mattress
I guess I forgot to set my clock
Overslept, almost lost the job
Then to top it off, I'm kinda hungry
But can't eat till I find my money
It's in my wallet but my wallet ain't in my pocket
Can't remember the last time I saw it
And they don't want me in a bad mood
Afraid that it'll spread and everyone will catch an attitude
They got 'em all singing the same tune
Thinking I should go and start a fire in the break room
Co-workers make me sick
and the manager really ain't ----
But I can't quit, so I'm hiding in the basement
Holding onto to my face like ---- this place

[Chorus: 2X]
Every day can't be the best day
Do what you can right now, don't hesitate
That's why we try to make love and get paid
Take the bad with the good, now let's play

..... ......................................

Can't dance with an upset stomach
The overdraft notices just kept coming
Somebody broke into the porch and stole a chair
Top of your head stopped growing hair
Broken glass, computer crashed
The car won't start and the tires went flat
Dog got loose, brought back a dead cat
Daughter found it and had a panic attack
Plus you ain't had sex in how long?
Afraid to admit that the fire's all gone
The better half is talking about separating
You wish you could take it back to yesterday
You not alone, it's hard as hell
But don't waste no time feeling sorry for self
We'll be right here with you through your war
Cause you're the one that we make this music for
Now turn it up

(this isn't the whole song, but this post is long enough! )

...and I'm so glad my day was not as bad as his. It's all relative, and all workable :)

_wise words_

My dad is brilliant.

No, he is not some crazy rocket scientist, he is not a giant businessman, he is not a movie star, pastor, chef, or engineer. He builds furniture. But that is not who he is. He is a person who so remarkably loves God, loves my mom, my sister, and me, and loves people. I'm pretty sure everyone who knows him picks up on this pretty fast. He is wise, funny, patient, and so many other things. Eventually I will post on the importance of a Dad, but for now I will just share a bit of wisdom I received from him this Valentines Day.

I got a package a few days after V-Day, containing a towel (yay!),  a couple books I forgot, a bracelet (which I adore), and a note and some gum from my dad. The note was written on grid paper, from the notepad with my dad's business name and address on it. The familiar ALL CAPS writing is of instant comfort for me. But the simplicity and truth of the last words is what really got me,

''Keep doing it all for Jesus, and all will be fine.''
                                          
 Love,
           Dad

How true. I love you Dad.

_missing italia_

Lately, for no particular reason, I have been missing Italy A LOT. Maybe it's because I finally got to skype with Marina a week ago, and I didn't realize how much I really missed her until I saw her appear on my screen. Maybe it's because American grocery stores are sadly depressing and expensive for the kind of food I bought and ate in Italy... Maybe it's because I miss Italian coffee shops so much. I haven't had a real espresso since..... I was in Italy. yikes.

I broke out my caffettiera (stovetop espresso maker.. or moka) a few days ago, which helped a lot. It's amazing how a couple sips of espresso can instantly transport me back, as though I am sitting at the bar at the Politecnico, sharing a caffè macchiato with the Italian students, or even better, I'm sitting in the kitchen with my adopted Italian family, having an espresso after breakfast or lunch. I miss that so much.  I never thought I could bring back memories and emotions this strong with something like coffee. Oh, but I miss it. I also miss the price. I'm already sick of paying three and a half dollars for a cappuccino at any of the cafes, which is about double the price it is in Italy. I refuse to drink American coffee (aka mildy-coffee-flavored water), though it is much more economical. And I don't dare buy an espresso out.. both being nervous about quality and for the fact that they cost over $2 for a single shot. urgh. I need a real coffee machine. Or I need to work at a coffee shop and make my own espresso... ha that could work.

What also brought back intense Italian-deprivation feelings was the fact that I (finally) watched The Italian Job. No, not the new one, the old one. It was released in 1967, and it's brilliant. A good mix of action, fast cars, and comedy. Loved it. Plus it helps that I'm a sucker for old movies....especially when they are set in a place I love. You have no idea how excited I was to see the familiar streets and porticos of Torino throughout the movie. It made me so happy. Here are a few of my favorites...


...I think I may just watch the Italian Job and drink espresso every time I'm missing Italia!


I'm very very thankful that I have the friends that I do here, and that I am pretty happy anywhere, because I definitely would be missing Italy a lot more. What's hard is that even if I were to go back now, it probably wouldn't be quite the same. But one thing I know, I am most definitely going back!

_the big 'V'_

I saw this and had to post it. ADORABLE. 

When I was graciously notified that, indeed, I was not actually caring for my blog, I had no intention of writing about Valentines Day. ...the Big 'V' as I call it. But, recently I have found a few things that have made it quite unavoidable, and mostly just appealing, to write about. Valentine's Day (or Singles' Awareness Day.. or RIBS Awareness Day. or whatever you would like to call it) is something that comes each year, and is either loved or loathed. Mostly there is no middle ground.

Either you are in a relationship, and you are hopeful that you may get your candy quota that was not fulfilled on Halloween, or you are in a relationship and loath the consumer focus of Valentine's Day. If you are not in a relationship, you loath Valentine's because it reminds you that you are single and unhappy, or you love Valentine's because it reminds you that you are single and happy and you love your friends. Whichever way you look at it, Valentine's Day creates factions between the lovers and the loathers, on many different levels.

I have to admit, mostly I get annoyed by Valentine's Day. When I got back from Italy, Christmas decorations were coming down and Valentine-o-rama had come in full force. I definitely rolled my eyes a few times when having to walk through an aisle saturated in candy hearts and cheap love messages to get to my dearly loved arborio rice.. But, I thought back to simpler times, perhaps sparked by my recent visit to my first grade teacher and her adorable class.

In 1st grade, Valentines Day was one of my favorite holidays. Why? Because I got to use my arts and crafts and chocolate-loving skills. Making mail boxes for desks? Check. Making cards packed with glitter, pom poms, hearts, lace, paper cut-outs, stickers and every color of the rainbow? Check. Going to the store with my mom to pick out my favorite candy to share with my classmates? Check. It was a lot of fun at the young age of 6. And it continued to be for a long time. And when did that change? Probably once V-Day became less of a reason to give candy and crafts to everyone and more of a reason to cuddle in the halls and have googly eyes on their faces and not on their Valentines cards.

A collection of much of what is brilliant about Valentines in a 1st grader's eyes: making cute  cards (is that a cupcake or a four-legged person?), Valentines mailboxes, Valentines crafts, and an excuse to use googly eyes. 

But, Valentines Day can still be lots of fun. I'm not necessarily recommending going out and buying construction paper, glitter, and googly eyes with your grocery money, but perhaps you could pick up a little something for someone else. What I have found out about Valentines Day, which is true for both singles and those dating/married, is that Valentines Day is not about you. REALLY.

When researching a little into who this St. Valentine guy was, and why he thought it was a good idea to start this crazy holiday, I found that they don't exactly know which Valentine it was. There are apparently three recognized St. Valentines, all who were martyred. And there are a whole host of other Valentine legends. First, there is the Valentine of Rome in the 3rd century, who secretly married soldiers even though it was against the emperor's wishes. Which got him killed. Another story tells of a Valentine who sent a girl a love message while in jail, signing it 'Your Valentine.'  Yet another story tells of a Valentine who helped Christians escape from Roman jails and torture. To be quite honest, I was really hoping the real Valentine would not really have anything to do with romance, which is mostly true. But the point is, Valentine, whoever he really was, was completely selfless. Whether he risked his life to marry people, risked his life to help Christians from being persecuted, or was jailed and handwrote something lovely for someone lovely - whatever he did, it was a selfless act.

And yet, how many of us are so selfish on this selfless holiday? We mope if we don't get the candy we want. If we don't get the attention we want. If we don't feel loved by whom we want to be loved, in the way that we want to be loved. The consumerist part of Valentines Day is annoying to be sure, but it does make for wonderful chocolate sales in the following days. What I do mind is that we have made it all about us. It is not so much a day for showering people with love (though some people still get that part).... it has become a day for gloating if you have it all, or moping if you don't. But in reality it is not about us.

In reality, there is only one Valentine that beats them all. One person whose extent of love is more outrageous,  selfless, and courageous than anyone else's. The past few Valentines Days have been awesome because I actually got to spend it with my One True Valentine. Yes, it may seem clichè, but God is truly the best Valentine you will ever have. Some guy can be sweet by bringing you flowers and chocolate.. but God made the flowers, and made the cocoa beans. Let's see some college jock try to pull that one off. So, on Valentines Day, it's great to celebrate the romantic side, and spend it with your significant other if you have one. But don't forget that you have a pretty incredible True Valentine, who has been there for every Valentines Day you ever had. Spend some time with Him. And don't forget, share the love with some other people. Bake some cookies. Make silly cards. Give people hugs. Buy chocolate in bulk and pass it all out. Be creative. Whatever you do; have fun, be selfless, be loving.