_those bad everything days_

So if you talked to me during this past week, I may have been extremely distracted. or a bit fidgety. Or a tad sleepy. Or perhaps I would have seemed completely normal, fooling you despite how bad my week really was. BUT, the fascinating thing was, I don't feel horrible about my week.

We all have those days, when everything goes wrong, when everything compounds and just drives us absolutely crazy. That was my day, especially Thursday. And generally, that was my week.

It started with a failure of a cake. This magical vertical-layered cake I was looking forward to baking. I planned it out, made the fondant one night, the icing the next, and then Sunday night I would bake the layers, construct it, and have it ready for Bible study on Monday. Well, the cake part failed. Quite miserably. I should have known it was a fishy-looking recipe. I know a failure in baking doesn't sound like a big deal, but it kind of is for me. Baking is my stress relief. It's when I get a chance to be creative, resourceful, and do something with my hands that has nothing to do with architecture. And giving it to people and making their day a bit brighter makes my heart happy. ..and 95% of the time, it comes out wonderfully. I'm good at it, just because I've practiced a lot. But this cake, this was a failure. The layers came out to be oily dense pancakes. Gross. .. So I used the ganache for a cupcake creation, which was a success. Victory.

Then came a compounded failure of not getting up early, not going to bed early, and not having time to run in the morning. Yes, again it seems normal, but for me it's a big deal. It's my schedule and my comfort. When I'm diligent and stick to my schedule, I get things done, I'm efficient, I rarely forget things, and I just generally do better. When I mess that up, all the structure falls apart.

Then came the giant setback of having a crit from DBell, my professor, the day before the review. The day before. It was a necessary crit, but really, I would have killed to have it during the weekend. So all of that work I had taken the last 6 days to do, I had to do over plus more in less than 24 hours. So, and all-nighter followed, which was not in the plan. I specifically had planned my entire past week so I would not have to pull an all-nighter.

Then came the day of the review. My plots did not print. When they did, my 22x34 in plots came out to around 3x5 on the giant white page. And I planned ahead and printed at 6:00 am for a 2:00 review. I never got 3 to print correctly, so I posted on 11x17 and pinned up my messy disgrace for a project in the gallery. Later failures included forgetting things in my room, spilling my coffee, breaking my favorite belt, tripping, etc. etc. I thought for sure the day would continue, and this review would go horribly.

Surprise! It didn't. Not in the slightest. My project was chosen as one of the top projects. What I thought was  a disgrace for boards turned out to be not so bad. My so-so drawing was claimed to be one of the best. My project was chosen as one with great potential. .....WHAT?!  .. I most definitely expected that review to go 5000x worse.

Now, the bad stuff didn't stop there. The next day I woke up 15 minutes before a test that I was going to study for more that morning. I forgot my purse somewhere. I left my dorm room door open and unlocked for around 4 hours. I almost couldn't access my dorm building at 11:30 at night. But I'm fine. There was a lot of good stuff in this week, despite all the bad. A huge part of it was God. Yes, I know, it's clichéd but truly, he was the constant in a sea of crazy. I have these truths to hold onto:

''For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you.''  Jeremiah 29:11-13. 


''Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? Luke 12:22-26


I know these are quoted 5 billion times over. But really look at the words. God has plans for you. Specifically tailored to all the good and bad and crazy in your life. That's pretty radical. That means that every little thing is designed for a greater purpose. I'm an archie. I design things. It takes effort to design things. It takes an intense amount of thought and focus and deliberation to truly design. And yet, God designed our lives. Wow. Also.. we can't add hours to our lives. Duh. I know, we try to glop cream to our faces and drink antioxidants to make us look and feel younger, but we physically cannot actually add an hour to our lives. .. So why worry? What does it get us? And the one verse is probably one of my favorite in all of the Bible. ''And how much more valuable you are than birds!'' I know, strange verse to love. But when you look at nature, and the birds and the bees and the bugs.. they are busy, living, and seem pretty fine with their lives. And we stress about so much. I don't think birds stress out. They simply live. God takes care of them. Everything is provided, everything is taken care of. And yet how much more valuable are we. Beautiful. How much more will things be provided for us? How much more should we truly live? So when life is crazy, things are hectic and I just want to sleep rather than face the next failure, I try my hardest to remember that. Because it's true. 


.... And things could always be worse. One song came to mind this week, and honestly made things a lot better. Atmosphere's song, 'Best Day' tells of the worst things happening, yet still living life and working through it. I do not in any way endorse all of this song, but generally I love it, the beat and the perspective of the lyrics. Not all rap has to be crap. 

I had a rough day, but that's life, it happens
Woke up on a dark side of my mattress
I guess I forgot to set my clock
Overslept, almost lost the job
Then to top it off, I'm kinda hungry
But can't eat till I find my money
It's in my wallet but my wallet ain't in my pocket
Can't remember the last time I saw it
And they don't want me in a bad mood
Afraid that it'll spread and everyone will catch an attitude
They got 'em all singing the same tune
Thinking I should go and start a fire in the break room
Co-workers make me sick
and the manager really ain't ----
But I can't quit, so I'm hiding in the basement
Holding onto to my face like ---- this place

[Chorus: 2X]
Every day can't be the best day
Do what you can right now, don't hesitate
That's why we try to make love and get paid
Take the bad with the good, now let's play

..... ......................................

Can't dance with an upset stomach
The overdraft notices just kept coming
Somebody broke into the porch and stole a chair
Top of your head stopped growing hair
Broken glass, computer crashed
The car won't start and the tires went flat
Dog got loose, brought back a dead cat
Daughter found it and had a panic attack
Plus you ain't had sex in how long?
Afraid to admit that the fire's all gone
The better half is talking about separating
You wish you could take it back to yesterday
You not alone, it's hard as hell
But don't waste no time feeling sorry for self
We'll be right here with you through your war
Cause you're the one that we make this music for
Now turn it up

(this isn't the whole song, but this post is long enough! )

...and I'm so glad my day was not as bad as his. It's all relative, and all workable :)